Trick or treat!

I did absolutely nothing today.

Well, I did dress up like a slutty Catholic schoolgirl, but that's hardly news.

I have not been the naughty little ghoul I wanted to be tonight. I didn't even watch any porn. Ah well. There's always tomorrow!

Today's word is the Galician "carallo," which means "penis"! It is normally used as an interjection: "carallo!"

To say "suck my dick," say "chupa meo carallo."

And I'll say, "With pleasure."

Weekend...

He opened his eyes and smiled sleepily, taking my hand and guiding it to rest on top of the bulge in his pajama bottoms.

"I'm ready, if you are," he said, sighing as I stroked the outline of his dick.

Persuasion.

"Mmmm, what time is it?" I purred, trying to focus on the clock next to me as his lips tightened around my left nipple, tongue flicking deliciously; his hands, meanwhile, massaged my thighs as they were spread to accommodate his hips.

9:07 p.m.

"Oh shit!" I shouted, trying to wriggle out from underneath Mon Homme. "We've got to go.."

"Can I have a little something before we leave?" he murmured in my ear, his fingers exploring the territory between my legs, slick and hotly aching.

"Nooooo," I moaned, "I want to, really, but I'm going to be late and I still have to change.." He wiggled his index and middle fingers "come hither" inside of me; I melted into a puddle of inertia.

Five minutes later, I remembered my goal, and leapt up from the bed.

"Incubus!" I slithered into my pants, pulling them up to my hips as he stood before me, grinning, the zipper of his jeans clearly undone. I eyed him suspiciously.

"Don't," I protested, "because if you do I won't be able to resist.." His smile grew wider as he pulled his dick out of his briefs. Unable to help myself, I reached forward and gripped the shaft, falling to my knees and sucking his hard cock into my mouth, rolling my tongue around the head, one hand pumping rhythmically up and down as as the other fondled his silky balls.

With a groan he exploded into my mouth; I eagerly swallowed the first cum I'd had in three weeks, then jumped up.

"You're so bad," I scolded, hurrying out the door. "And you so owe me."

The Magnificent Train Story!

For Mon Homme. Part of our "story telling." One of my fantasies:

So we are leaving glorious, beautiful Italy (heaven knows why) to go to Paris (i suppose that's a good reason). We board the train and, since it's a fairly long trip, decide to look for a sleeper car (this is an older train, so the sleeper cars are legit).

The train is packed but we finally find an empty one; we stow our baggage under the seats (which are next to the bunks) and slide the door closed.

The train begins to move, jerkily, and I lose my footing and fall against you; you catch me and take the opportunity to kiss me deeply as the train picks up speed out of the station.

We move to the seats; I sit on your lap facing you; we're into a pretty intense makeout session when the door slides partially open.

We both look up to see another woman, about our age; she's carrying a heavy suitcase and her face is red--"je m'excuse, je suis tres desolee, je vais aller---"

"Attendez," I say, "vous avez l'air tres fatiguee; venez ici, assiez-vous."

I get up and help her put her bags away; she keeps sneaking glances at you--you are trying to look casual with one leg conspicuously crossed over the other.

She is still blushing, which I think is really cute, and as we introduce ourselves with the typical kiss-kiss on either cheek, her lips sort of linger on my cheek--surprised, I turn my head and accidentally kiss her on the lips.

You're definitely paying attention now, as she surprises me further by kissing back, her tongue tentatively slipping between my lips. You rise to your feet, as I moan and close my eyes; you place one hand on the small of my back and the other on hers.

Everything speeds up a bit as she reaches for you, undoing your belt and zipper, pulling your hard cock out and stroking it as I undo the buttons of her sweater, biting her neck and collarbone as they become exposed, kissing her breasts as she fondles you, sucking on her nipples while you massage my ass and reach up underneath my skirt.

I lift my head to grin at her; she smiles back; we both look at you and suddenly you are pushed down onto the bench; she rips your shirt off and we kiss our way down both sides of your body to your cock; we run our tongues up and down and over it, sometimes taking turns to take you all the way, sometimes trading off so one of us is sucking on your cock while the other uses her hands.

All three of us are topless, and she and I are soon completely naked, and as we take care of you our free hands stroke each other; I reach between her legs while she squeezes my breasts.

Soon I can't take it anymore, and I divest you of the rest of your clothing, pulling you up behind me as she takes your place on the bench, lying on her back with her legs spread.

I bend over to run my tongue over and into her pussy; you grab my hips and thrust into me; it feels so fucking good and I groan against her, sucking on her clit; her eyes are tightly closed and she's shaking already---meanwhile you reach around to rub my clit and that, combined with you moving inside me, with the vibration of the train, cause me to come so hard I almost can't see--

Although that could be because she is coming too and wrapping her legs around my neck--the combination of her sounds and mine, and me squeezing your cock as I come, cause you to explode inside of me.

Exhausted, we climb into the bunks and curl around each other and sleep for hours.

Please pardon the lack of proper punctuation (i.e. accent marks); this was an IM session.

[Insert horny Frenchman laugh.]

A bit of French, la langue d'amour, and apparently of sex and other naughty things as well.

• bander: to have a hard-on. Bander is commonly used for a bow drawn taut to let the arrow fly. Bander is not used with a direct object, but it can certainly be followed by a number of metaphors: bander comme un cerf (hard as a deer) or comme un tigre (like a tiger). It can also be used thus: “je bande pour toi" (I have a boner for you). However, the reverse would be quite possible: “débander,” i.e., literally to become limp again, is also used metaphorically for “to chicken out.” "Alors, tu débandes?" would mean, "Are you chicken?”
• bitte: cock, prick.
• branlage: wanking, masturbation. “Branlette” is a wank or an act of masturbation. “Se branler” is “to wank, to masturbate”—literally "to wobble oneself."
• brouter le cresson: to perform cunnilingus. Literal translation: "to graze the watercress."
• chatte: pussy (female genitalia).
• chinois: the Chinaman, i.e., a penis. "Se polir le Chinois" is “to polish the Chinaman,” or the very sweet act of giving yourself pleasure.
• cigare (masculine noun): dick. Commonly used in phrases like "couper le cigare" (to circumcize), or "fumer le cigare" (to give a blowjob)—which leads to "avaler la fumée" (“swallow the smoke” or semen).
• couilles: balls, bollocks.
• cramouille: wet slit. Commonly used when for some reason a male wants to use a slightly unpleasant noun for the genitals of a female. “Elle mouille” means “she's getting wet.”
• doudounes: tits. Other euphemisms for breasts include: "les roberts," "les nénés," "les nichons."
• jouir: to come. Used in the sexual sense.
• noune: vagina. Used to replace “vulva” in a normal non-formal conversation.
• ramoner: to sweep the chimney, i.e., to screw.
• se palucher: to give yourself a hand job.
• avoir la tringle: to have a hard-on, erection.
• tringler: to fuck. "Se faire tringler" is “to be fucked.”
• trique: a boner. "Avoir la trique" is to be horny as hell.

Back door delight?

Last night, I had another of my infamous sex dreams.

I was in a hotel room with one of my girl friends. We heard a knock at the door and when we opened it, three guys and a couple of girls walked in. For some reason, we welcomed their company and soon things got very...naked.

In a minute I was on the bed with one of the guys, completely turned on and waiting for him. I was surprised when a moment later, instead of having my wet pussy filled with dick, I felt his hard cock hovering a few inches lower, pressing insistently against my asshole.

I realized that this was exactly what I wanted, and I begged him to fuck me. He pushed into me and I moaned in ecstasy--it was the most amazing sensation, effortlessly orgasmic. When he came, it was too soon, and I pulled another guy over and into me, while at the same time recommending the experience to my friend, who said that she was already well aware.

It's not too difficult to figure out where this is coming from.

I used to think I wasn't into anal sex at all, but a few months ago I began to have a change of heart. Mon Homme and I have been tossing this idea back and forth for a while now, and a few weeks ago we started the preliminaries..

He took me into his lap and slipped his hand beneath my skirt, massaging my ass cheeks firmly before slipping one black-gloved finger gently into my ass. We adjourned at that level, but he's coming to visit again this weekend and I've been fantasizing about completing my anal deflowering all week.

Last night..

Last night, I was bored as hell and so I did something I haven't in YEARS:

I went to a cyber sex chat room.

Nothing really happened. A fourteen-year-old hit on me and I kept well away from that; two guys picked up on the whole attempted sex chat thing but had to go before anything interesting happened; I met a guy from Athens who wanted me to visit him in Greece within two minutes of talking (cute).

Boooooring. I did orgasm twice, though, but not due to any real arousal.

The funny thing about it is that when I did things like this before, I was always a lot more forward AND I always lied about my age and my looks (my favorite was that I was a 5'8" strawberry blonde model). I got a lot more "action" that way, but this way was more entertaining.

Today's lesson comes from the Finnish (mmm):

• Runkkari: wanker (which is Brit slang for someone who jacks it quite often, or a jerk in general).
• Suoro: a horse's or bull's penis. Note: Used humorously to refer to a larger than average human penis.
• Vittujen kevät ja kyrpien takatalvi: Oh fucking fuck! Note: Most naturally used after the sentence initial 'Voi..," literally 'Oh spring of cunts and cold spell of pricks,' an expression of extreme disgust.
• Voi helvetti: bloody hell.
• Voi vittu: fuck this.

The Finnish are so charming..

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

I actually have something to write about now.

(By the way, I broke up with "The Boyfriend." The long distance thing was not working out at all. Suffice to say he's now a dick and I am dating the delectable "Mon Homme.")

I might play catch-up for a while with my posts, but there will eventually be current events to blog about.

In the meantime, I give you more tutoring in foreign indelicacies, from the languages English and Esperanto:

English

• Quim: a vulgar, but not harsh, term for female genitalia. Origin: Scotland.
• Snatch: vagina. Less offensive than "cunt."

Esperanto

• Amori: to make love/have sex.
• Fingrumi: to masturbate. From "fingro" (finger).
• Kojonoj: testicles.
• Onani: to jerk off (yourself).
• Onanigi: to jerk off (someone else).
• Seksumi: to fuck/copulate.

De-hiatus?

For the moment!

And now, a taste of the letter 'D,' via the Danish and the Dutch:

The Danish use the word "skvaddernosse" to describe people who talk a lot and don't have much to say. It literally means "talkative balls."

The Dutch have a multitude of lovely terms:

-aflebberen: to kiss intensely in a public place.
-beffen: to stimulate the clitoris with the tongue.
-bekken: to French kiss.
-botergeil: very horny, very lewd. This word means literally "butter-lewd" and is only used for women. A tentative explanation is that butter (being rather slippery) is associated with the vagina of a sexually aroused woman.
-geilneef: a man who is always horny.
-klaarkomen: to come, to have an orgasm. The normal meaning is "to finish, to get ready."
-opgeilen: to arouse sexually (intentionally).
-vingeren: to stimulate the clitoris with the fingers.
-vleesroos: literally "rose of flesh," a.k.a. "pussy."

Brrrr.

With my slight fetish for ice, this might do nicely.

Man's sexual device bombs with Chicago airport security.

"CHICAGO — Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey.

So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.

Madin Azad Amin, 29, of Skokie was stopped Aug. 16 at O'Hare International Airport after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade...

Amin later told officials he'd lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn't want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said."
(Seattle Times)

Good plan, Amin. I'm sure your mother was just thrilled to hear that you had a "grenade" in your luggage. But anything to spare yourself the horror of admitting to your mother and the world that you own a sex...I don't know, aid?

In other news, apparently fluorescent lighting causes condoms to decompose. You learn something new every day.

Czech.

Nadržený is a charming Czech adjective, meaning "horny." It is sometimes used outside of erotic context, meaning that someone is really eager to do something...but it's more fun with the erotic context, wouldn't you say?


Rychlovka is a quickie.

The lure of a vasectomy.

Well, it's alluring to ME anyway. Men don't seem that keen on the whole thing.

I really don't see why.

You don't have to actually slice the vas deferens (in the No Scalpel method). The libido isn't affected, nor the erection. Semen retains the consistency, taste, smell and color it had before, even minus sperm (yes, ejaculation persists! excellent). It is 99% effective as birth control---it eliminates the need for condoms, diaphragms, the Patch, the Pill, the Sponge, et cetera.

So it's not exactly emasculating.

Plus, it takes fifteen minutes and lasts forever---unless you get it reversed. It is cheaper, easier, and safer (almost completely safe) than a tubal ligation (getting tubes tied, for women).

If the procedure is done after having children, why regret it?

I for one don't want to live in fear of getting pregnant when I don't want to--and being trapped in a body that commits mutiny. I don't want to deal with the side effects of contraceptives chock full of latex and spermicide and hormones and jelly until I die.

Besides, I asked a man who knows, and he said: "It's great after you're done having children."

Quite.

[By the way: I would definitely consider a tubal ligation were not the risks, discomfort, and cost significantly higher. Plus, I've already had to deal with all this menstruation crap, and I'll have to go through pregnancy and childbirth, so why should I have to bear the brunt of all this sexually-related madness?]

That's a shame...

Apparently one of the "anonymous" sex bloggers has been outed. I haunted her blog for some time, and she strikes me as an intelligent and charismatic (and ravenous) woman..

It's a shame that her life has to undergo such an upheaval now. Hopefully she'll keep on writing, despite such a horrifying turn of events. She seems to be doing well enough.

Good luck and chin up, Girl!

Cheers.

A long one.

Catalan!

• Bandarra: bitch, slut.
• Cascar-se-la: to masturbate.
• Cinc contra el calvo: masturbation, literally "five against the bold."
• Escalfabraguetes: "crotch-heater." A person who excites men but is not prepared to have intercourse.
• Escalfapolles: cocktease.
• Farranaco (masc. noun): pronounced "pharnakoo." Means "Venus Triangle," aka vagina. Used mainly in the Sunset Islands of Catalonia, and is usually preceded by the masculine article "lo." Example: Deixa'm sobar-te lo farranaco, paia. = Let me touch your cunt, honey.
• Fer un solo de flauta: used when someone masturbates him/herself a lot.
• Orgia: orgy!
• Txitxarrero: to go to the gynecologist. Derives from "txitxi:" female genitals.
• Xona (f. noun): female genitals.
• Xufa: penis. Note: "xufa" (earth almond) is a small tuber from Valencian Country. A popular cold drink of white color, called "orxata," is extracted from the xufa.

Liberation!

After a rather intensive conversation with The Boyfriend, I retired to bed at around 1o:oo (I was worn out and I had work in the morning).

Though I tossed and turned, I couldn't seem to get a hold on sleep. My fingers ventured below my belt and indeed, I was soaked (for no apparent reason).

Dutifully I lubed my fingers with my own juices and moved them up to my clitoris, vaguely aware of desire and a delicate throbbing, though I knew (or thought I knew) that nothing would come of my ministrations--I've never been able to orgasm manually by myself (possibly from sheer laziness).

But all of a sudden I was gripped with determination. I ceased my idle circling and tried something new, steadily and firmly stroking the underside of my clit. Amazingly, my body reacted, the familiar tightening in my abdomen matching my building excitement and enthusiasm. My legs shook and I trembled, moaning and gasping quietly so as not to draw any attention to my bedroom.

After twenty minutes (what can I say, I'm a "beginner"), I was rewarded with an earthy, deeply-rooted release. I lay in my bed, still panting, a warm fullness filling me up.

Near midnight, I finally fell asleep, satisfied.

A hundred wedding nights.

"I don't care where we go on our honeymoon, so long as we get to have lots and lots of.." He coughed.

"Sex?" I asked.

"Why, yes. Yes, that."

Dirty pictures.

If only I could post them.

The Boyfriend: ohhh, and we...
BF: oh my god
BF: i just looked at your email
BF: all of a sudden I was really turned on
BF: and on a public computer!
BF: i'm in the hotel lobby, you know
BF: i have to be decent
KanelMus: mmm, about being turned on
KM: do go on
BF: tch, like i can help it
BF: you're crazy..
BF: and smokin'

Bulgarian.

Lapai mi kura!

That looks so fun to say, but as I'm a woman, it wouldn't really make much sense to say "Suck my dick!"

Note: This expression is extremely "expressive." In Bulgarian it sounds much more vulgar than the English equivalent. Used when angry or sexually aroused.

Tralala.

I'm very pleased, as I now have a three-vibe collection.

1) The Sneaky Portable One: Fukuoku 9000.
2) The Heavy Duty Reliable One: Hitachi Magic Wand.
3) The Splish Splash, Safe in the Bath One: Mini Heartbreaker (got a replacement).

Hoorah!

For those ladies without the funds for such extravagant pleasures, jacuzzi jets work juuuust as well. I've tested several in my time (in fact I had a great evening in one just the other day). But don't take MY word for it..

Hop in a hot tub today!