Last night..

Last night, I was bored as hell and so I did something I haven't in YEARS:

I went to a cyber sex chat room.

Nothing really happened. A fourteen-year-old hit on me and I kept well away from that; two guys picked up on the whole attempted sex chat thing but had to go before anything interesting happened; I met a guy from Athens who wanted me to visit him in Greece within two minutes of talking (cute).

Boooooring. I did orgasm twice, though, but not due to any real arousal.

The funny thing about it is that when I did things like this before, I was always a lot more forward AND I always lied about my age and my looks (my favorite was that I was a 5'8" strawberry blonde model). I got a lot more "action" that way, but this way was more entertaining.

Today's lesson comes from the Finnish (mmm):

• Runkkari: wanker (which is Brit slang for someone who jacks it quite often, or a jerk in general).
• Suoro: a horse's or bull's penis. Note: Used humorously to refer to a larger than average human penis.
• Vittujen kevät ja kyrpien takatalvi: Oh fucking fuck! Note: Most naturally used after the sentence initial 'Voi..," literally 'Oh spring of cunts and cold spell of pricks,' an expression of extreme disgust.
• Voi helvetti: bloody hell.
• Voi vittu: fuck this.

The Finnish are so charming..

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

I actually have something to write about now.

(By the way, I broke up with "The Boyfriend." The long distance thing was not working out at all. Suffice to say he's now a dick and I am dating the delectable "Mon Homme.")

I might play catch-up for a while with my posts, but there will eventually be current events to blog about.

In the meantime, I give you more tutoring in foreign indelicacies, from the languages English and Esperanto:

English

• Quim: a vulgar, but not harsh, term for female genitalia. Origin: Scotland.
• Snatch: vagina. Less offensive than "cunt."

Esperanto

• Amori: to make love/have sex.
• Fingrumi: to masturbate. From "fingro" (finger).
• Kojonoj: testicles.
• Onani: to jerk off (yourself).
• Onanigi: to jerk off (someone else).
• Seksumi: to fuck/copulate.